Family jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
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