Family jokes
A kid called Chris:
:orphan
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄