Failure Jokes

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his bmw exhaust but his engine failed. This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

What you call suicide, I call failed speedrun attempt

I don’t usually tell 911 jokes the usually crash and burn

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

4 kids at my school tried suicide and failed they are now known as the suicide squad

Why did the orphan fail all his classes? He couldn’t do his homework

if you try to fail and you succeed which one did you do

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said " I'm a failure at suicide too.".

Why did sally fail her final exam?

Because she had nothing written down.

What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?

You abort it

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

What is a failed abortion? Annabelle

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.

What's worse than a failed suicide you ask? I fail suicide cuz you forgot to do the dishes and ur parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you not yourself