Face jokes

What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?

A god.

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

His face.

Mo sal. F.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?

Your face is so greasy that the USA is gonna invade you!

Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?

In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.