Face jokes

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

What do you call a man without a body and a nose?

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?

Have a look at her face!

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"

What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

"Face the wall!"

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.

Johnny: What?

Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?

Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!

Ex: Awhh!

Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.