Face jokes

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

Timeless!

How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?

His face was chiseled in a mountain.

How to make a baby make funny faces?

Put it feet first in a blender.

Ever heard of account stealing?

Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

What do you call a man without a body and a nose?

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁