Face jokes

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?

Because they blow up in your face.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Imagine a dragon 🤔.

Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.

Hey daddy *winky face*

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

What's the most between my uncle and aunt?

My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.

What's the difference between acne and the Pope?

Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?

In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.

How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?

His face was chiseled in a mountain.

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

Timeless!