So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
Bowser ordered his Goomba guards to arrest me because I wrote graffiti on the walls saying "The Koopalings are evil!" "Kill the Koopalings!" and "Down with the Koopalings!"
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.
