My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
God creates a wasp :) God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly. Angel: okay... a bug. God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth. Angel: weird.. but okay... God: and give it wings. Angel: eh, not half bad Go- God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS Angel: *shook* o-okay God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out. Angel: .-. God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin* Angel: *cries* Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so lt could get a real joke ha ah ah ha
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Bio-hazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum
