Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
Every zodiac sign has a hair style except for cancer
You know what’s odd?
Every other number
a man was in a court room, the judge said, ''what should this mans punishment be?'' a random guy ''OFF WITH HIS HEAD'' judge ''he shall give head to every man in this room'' the guy ''WAIT THATS NOT WHAT I SAID!!!''
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
I'm better than you in every single way.... I even have an extra chromosome.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
are you a camera? because every time I look at you I smile
At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
If you really think about it every market in Africa is a black market
Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan? A: Because there's a Target on every corner
Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Alabama. Every time there's a family reunion a baby is born 9 months later.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment? Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Every male is expected to pass their drivers test, Paul Walker clearly failed his
