Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
