Event jokes

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?

Where did Amy go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.

Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.

Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑

You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.

Are you a building?

Cuz I rate you 9/11.

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"

"Yea, it was crackers!"

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?

He was roasted.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.