Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
Thank God I went on the tenth.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
I put the fun in funeral.
Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
