Event jokes

What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?

A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.

I wish they taught 9/11 at school.

It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨

9/11, also known as the day football stopped.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

[pause] You said you’d never forget.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She choked.

You want to hear a 9/11 joke?

I bet they did too!

I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.

The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.

(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.