Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Event Jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
