Event jokes

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"9/11."

"9/11 who?"

"You said you'd never forget!"

6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

[pause] You said you’d never forget.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.

I wish they taught 9/11 at school.

It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨

What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?

A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

9/11, also known as the day football stopped.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂

How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She choked.