Entertainment jokes
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
Memes
Relatable
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"No Way Home."
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.