Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
I love rap!
I came here to laugh.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
