Two baby seals walk into a club.
What show do orphans hate?
Family Guy.
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
What is Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite town? Boise.
