Entertainment jokes

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

None of these jokes really took off.

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

omae wa mou shindeiru.

Nani?

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."

The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because there's too many jokes about Sally.

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.

The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.

OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

Babe, it's over.

After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.

I meant the movie...

Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!

Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

What do you call a bar run by Gungans?

Jar Jar Drinks.