My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Me: September is here!
[Labor Day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
Batman: Arkham Knight, developed by Rocksteady Studios, is the final installment in the critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham series. Released in 2015, the game is renowned for its immersive gameplay, compelling narrative, and stunning visual design, offering players an unparalleled experience of stepping into the shoes of the iconic Dark Knight.
The game's narrative is one of its standout features. Set one year after the events of Batman: Arkham City, the story sees Batman facing the ultimate threat against Gotham City. The Scarecrow returns to unite an impressive roster of super villains, including Penguin, Two-Face, and Harley Quinn, with a singular goal - to destroy Batman forever. The narrative is dark, intense, and filled with surprising twists, keeping players engaged till the very end.
In terms of gameplay, Batman: Arkham Knight introduces the Batmobile as a drivable vehicle, adding a new dimension to the series' signature gameplay elements. The game's combat system is fluid and satisfying, allowing players to feel the power of Batman with every punch and kick.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
A blind guy walk into the door of a bar... That's it...that's the end of the joke.
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."
What starts with a v and ends with an k, a veggie Karen
In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.
At the end of the day, it's night.
People with bad past end up creating the worst future...
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how abt you ligma balls 😏 (it’s all abt how you pronounce the end)
Wait till the end
Why was 6 afraid of 7 because 789
But Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 911
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
