End jokes

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.

The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”

As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

What do we find at the end of every rainbow?

The letter W.

What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?

The mailman goes home at the end of the day.

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.

What begins with F and ends with CK?

Fuck, I mean fire truck.

How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?

They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.

Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.