People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... đ ...I ate your penis!
Don't use head and shoulders just use head otherwise you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
When your playing online with your friend then you hear a kid scream: ÌNo dad please stop! Ì Scream ends by a gunshot.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
Knock-knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose? Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation. When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really really horny. Jack who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck" she said as she stroked his ever hardening one-eyed snake. "Yeah, i'll have both of them" said Jack who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that they both contracted AIDS, and died of it as they did not see a doctor. THE END
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I donât remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, âDonât you thick heâs CHICKENing out?â I said, âyeah, just stop HORSING around!â He came back with one and I ended it by saying, âOk, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]â Welp thatâs it.
I was going to kill myself. But in the end it doesn't even matter.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
Son: âmom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman ?» Mother: «No Son, unless if heâs gay» Son : «So your friend is gay ?» Mother with herself : «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me» Mother: «Mmm.. Yes» Father loudly: «YES!!!» Mother: «What in the hell ? Are you gay ?» Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered Iâm gay and her son was made by Paulâs semens she will kill me» Father: «No what are saying ? Iâm just talking with myself»
*A few hours later*
Mother: «I will go to visit my mother» Father: «Me too I will go to visit my mother» Son: «Not me too I will go to stud with my friends»
the mother and the father goes to michaelâs house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying : «thatâs why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
my dick is like the way home for an orphan,its length is never-ending
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
