Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
the emo kid went for a high five people say he's still hanging
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it’s a piñata: 🤪🏏
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
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What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
you.
your mom
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
