Em jokes
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”
My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?
Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?
Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
I went to the park full of black men. I ended up fucking 'em all.