Em jokes

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

Where did Michael Jackson go to college?

Bring 'em young.

"Dees nutz, got 'em!"

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking."

Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.

Clap em sis!

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.