Elephant jokes
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!