What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream and a lot of root beer!
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Elephant
why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they're good at it.