Elephant jokes
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.