Education jokes

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

Why does the Sun go to school?

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.

I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

What do you call a creepy IT teacher?

A PDF file.

Why was 6 scared?

Because 7 8 9.

I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.

When I got to school, I was speechless.

Was 9 + 10?

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!

Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.

The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.