When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
I love the letters of the alphabet.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
