Education jokes
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?
Because he needs the parent's signature.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Oh, never mind, it's pointless.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?
A parent's signature was required.
Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?
Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.