Education Jokes

A note for my old English Teacher:

Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...

And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

Like if u like school (i mean if you don't)

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?

"Can you show me what rape is?"

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.