Education jokes

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?

A PDF file.

Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.

Why did the slave go to college?

To get his master's degree.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

I cum (Can't understand math).

What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?

Homecoming.