Earliness Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

Sun

Timmy has 5 apples.

His train is 7 minutes early.

Calculate the mass of the sun.

Bed

Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

Memes

Man

A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

A page of text detailing the life and work of Niels Bohr, a prominent figure in physics.

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Battery

Why did Stephen die so early?

He didn't use long lasting batteries.

Job

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

Schedule

Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.

Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf

Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.

(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, she brought a pencil to early intervention!

Memes

School

I'm glad we in school now

The image shows a split screen of an online meeting. On the left, a teacher is visible in a video call, and on the right is a cartoon depiction of Patrick Star. The text on the image reads, "When you join class early and it's just you and your teacher in the call".

Study

fr

The image shows four frames of a man putting on clown makeup with different levels of completion. The text above each frame reads: "I'll study at 6 pm", "I'll study at 7 pm", "I prefer to study during the night", and "I'll just get up early tomorrow and study".

Class

A picture of a slide that splits into two separate slides. On the left slide it says "Getting to Class Early" and on the right side it says "Getting to Class Late". Below, the text says "Why have you still not written down the heading?"

Man

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Newspaper

A comic strip shows people dressed in Harry Potter costumes waiting outside a store with a sign that reads 'Midnight Sale'. The text reads 'THE PAST... "IT WAS THE EARLY 2000s. A TIME WHEN WE ALL LEARNED TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AGAINST SPOILERS." I'VE AVOIDED READING NEWSPAPERS AND EVEN LOGGED OFF OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK ISN'T RUINED FOR ME. "ME TOO! I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK MY GEOCITIES PAGE UNTIL I'M THROUGH THE BOOK!" MIDNIGHT SALE SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! -OOOOOOOORRRRE! NOOOOOOOO!'. In the next panels, Deadpool in a Harry Potter themed cloak spoils the book.

Coffee

My mom after she has had enough of us

The image shows a man in a suit with text overlayed that reads, "Half the day, I wonder if it's too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it's too early for alcohol."

Valentine Day

happy early valentines day everyone lmao

A Valentine's Day card with the text "BE MEIN" at the top, followed by a cartoon drawing of Adolf Hitler in a brown uniform and the text "Happy Valentine's Day. Love, Adolf, and also BenKling."

Smoking

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

Class

A photo of a playground slide with two paths. One path is labeled "Getting to Class Early" and shows a child sliding down. The other path is labeled "Getting to Class Late" and also shows a child sliding down. Underneath the two slides is the text "Why have you still not written down the heading?"

Section

Shitpost-master general

A man and a woman are looking at a computer screen. The text reads: "You see babe, this journalist's surname ends with 'berg,' now let's see his 'early life' section just to double check."

Middle East

The image is divided into three panels. The top panel shows several fighter jets flying in the sky over a desert landscape with fire and smoke in the background and the text "Born too late to deploy to the Middle East." The middle panel shows a nighttime cityscape with a mosque and golden dome in the foreground and a person standing on top of the dome, with the text "Born too early to deploy to the Middle East." The bottom panel shows a soldier in a military vehicle in a war zone with buildings in the background and the text "Born just in time to deploy to the Middle East."

Worm

A picture shows a fluffy baby bird standing on a concrete surface. Above the bird, it says: "I WOKE UP EARLY." Below, the text states: "THERE WAS NO WORM."

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