Dying jokes

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

An emo girl dyed her hair red.

Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.

You fighting? More like you're dying!

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.

Btw, it's a joke lol.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"