Dumbness

Dumbness jokes

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Bag

  • So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

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    Teacher

  • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: no one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

    Little Johnny: *stands up*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

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    Plane

  • So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

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    Ruler

  • One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

    Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

    Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

    Mamma

  • Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

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    Fan

  • For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

    Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

    Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

    Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

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    Antifa

  • "Maga be like Antifa invaded Ukraine, but I thought Antifa was Russia, you dumb Maga chuds!"

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