Dream jokes
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
My hopes and dreams.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.