Dream jokes

There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.

After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.

It's in my basement.

"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.

If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3

One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”

One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.

People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.