Downing jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”

What happens to emo kids when they go up?

They never come down.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!