Downing jokes

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!

Doctor: Sit down for a minute.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?

A penguin falling down the stairs.

What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?

A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An airstrike.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?

Chromostone.

What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?

They will come down your "chimney" tonight.

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

A man goes into a job interview and sits down.

The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"

The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"

The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"

The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”