Downing jokes
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."