Downing jokes

Rifle

  • What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?

    An AK-46.

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  • Grandma

  • My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"

    Comment down below, does your grandma do this?

    Water Bottle

  • The twin towers are like water bottles.

    It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

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  • Motorcycle

  • So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

    During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"

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  • Hairline

  • Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

    Apple

  • In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

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  • Coffin

  • When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

    So they can let me down one last time.

    Penis

  • The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.

    This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.

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  • Sister

  • I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

    Koala

  • Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.

    Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.

    Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.

    Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.

    Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.

    Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.

    Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.

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  • Grenade launcher

  • Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

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