Downing Jokes

I wa finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve. Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

What is the difference between the titanic and the twin towers? They both went down.

What do you get if you talk to a down syndrome face to face at close distance?

Soaked...

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill? Abo-lanche

What's wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises. I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs so I don’t know why they do it

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom Kill confermed

What do you call 3 kids laying down in the classroom Kill streak

There’s something on your chin no the third one down

What did the green grape say too the purple one

Calm down and take a breath

your hairline so bad it went down like the twin towers

What's black and white and read all over? A newspaper. What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over? A penguin falling down the stairs.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are you're parents?" And he started to cry even more... "Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.