Downing jokes

Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?

Because they have already got 2 towers down.

What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?

A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner.

I was born on the moon.

Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.

What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.

Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?

Comment down below!

My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

I fell down yesterday.

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.

I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.

The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

How did Santa fit down the chimney?

He buttered it.

How do Chinese people name their children?

They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.