Downing jokes
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
I fell down yesterday.
Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"