Downing Jokes

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.

Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!

There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.

Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.

An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"

His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.

He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"

"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"

"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."

The pilot goes "We're going down!"

The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"