Downing jokes

What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?

Her Miscarriage.

God creating spiders.

God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"

A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?

Aaron with a rope.

What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

How do you suck a dick?

Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.

Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?

A. Hot cross bunnies!

I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!