Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
Downing Jokes
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
