DoS jokes
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Memes
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.