How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
DoS Jokes
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
