DoS Jokes

What is Beethoven doing now?

Decomposing.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

The image shows a wooden guillotine with labels and prices for each part from Home Depot, accompanied by the text "Something you can do with your $600 stimulus check." at the top and "DIY PROJECTS & IDEAS" at the bottom. The parts and prices include: 24in x 24in, #16 plain sheet metal for $39.98; Everbilt 1/4in x 100 ft Sisal Rope, Naural for $7.97; 1in x 6in x 8 ft for $10.11; 4in x 4in x 10 #2 for $11.12; 2in x 4in #12 Galvanized L-Angle for $2.11; and 2in x 4in x 10 #2 for $3.88.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

Daddy.

Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"

Woman: "Sure."

Man: "How about for ten dollars?"

Woman: "What do you think I am?"

Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?

Vegetable soup.

Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

How do you start a rave in Africa? Stick a pizza onto the ceiling.

What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"