DoS jokes
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
Memes
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!