DoS jokes

What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?

The recoil.

I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

Why do orphans hate hide n seek?

'Cause they can't find their parents.

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?

Answer: A bath bomb.

what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

a family photo.

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno.

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?

Dribble.

Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?

A: A creepy crawly.