DoS jokes
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
Memes
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.