Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
