DoS jokes
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Memes
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."