DoS

DoS Jokes

Baby

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

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  • Titanic

    What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

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  • Space

    What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

    Silicon Valley.

    Vein

    Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?

    Because everything they do is in vein.

    Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

    Wife

    what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

    Race

    What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?

    Finish a race.

    Stereotype

    What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

    Blonde joke

    A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

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  • Major

    What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

    The thot that counts.

    Mind

    Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

    JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

    Marriage

    A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

    Dishwasher

    What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

    Condom

    Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

    So gay people can play Star Wars.