DoS Jokes

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually, I shouldn't spread it.

What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

BROOO BAHAAHHAHAHAHAAH

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot wheels.

Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.

Why do I only date orphans?

Because they never have daddy issues.

What do gay men like cocks?

🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

My asian neighbors dinner.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

Seizure salad.

"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

Why do orphans rob banks?

Because they wanna feel wanted.

Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.