DoS jokes
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: π.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: π³πΆπ.
My depression: π don't worry I'll always be here for you.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
Memes
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
What do gay men like cocks?
π¦π¦π¦ they like the cream filling π
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
"Whatβs your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, βD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.β "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, βNo sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.β
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.