DoS jokes
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
Memes
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.