DoS jokes

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk.

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

What do you call depressed Sesame Street?

Emo's World.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalottapuss.

What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?

In an explosion.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?

Guardian of the confessional booth.

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.