DoS

DoS jokes

Sarcasm

I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.

Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.

Orphanage

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

Child

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Orphan

Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.

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  • Guitar

    What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

    Fingering A minor.

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  • Abuse

    What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

    They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

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  • Day

    After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

    God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

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  • Assignment

    My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

    I answered, "Happy."

    The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

    Emo

    How do emos propose?

    "Would you like to join my family tree?"

    Girlfriend

    Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

    Boyfriend: You're both!

    Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?

    Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!

    Elephant

    Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

    A: How do you breathe through that little thing?

    Pedophile

    Why do pedophiles never win a race?

    Because they are always coming in a little behind.

    Emo girl

    Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

    Number

    What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

    Roamin’ Numerals.