How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
