Door jokes
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
5 knock knock jokes from best to corny.
1. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the door.
2. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in!
3. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey isn't working, can you let me in?
4. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who!
5. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
----> [] get in the door.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.