Door jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.