Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
Dont Jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
I don't even like ketchup, so it stays stinky.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport??
Cross country because they don't need to be in America. Mexico was made for them.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
Guys, if y'all don't stop making hatred stuff, I'm contacting admin.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"
The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
