Dont

Dont jokes

Relationship

  • 🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.

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    Toddler

  • Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

    If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

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    Comeback

  • Bully: Hey virgin!

    Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

    Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

    Victim: Just wait nine months.

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  • Pirate

  • Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

    “And yer hand?” asks Marty.

    “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

    “OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

    “I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

    “But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

    “True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

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